|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Brainstorming:
Friends & Family Do not use technology in this essay, such as cell,
Facebook, Twitter, etc.
Because of
the above, your friends and family make you ·
irritated ·
angry ·
stressed ·
upset ·
frustrated ·
annoyed ·
consumed with revenge, so you
cannot function, making it difficult
to do your school work . . . homework . . . assignments . . . focus . . . lessons
. . . projects . . . concentrate . . . college assignments . . . move on . . . start up again . . . stay on task . . .
Optional: What YOU SHOULD be like to be a better person:
The above topics need “will” in every sentence. These sentences address what you will do in the
future. You will address what you will do in the future to change
your behavior to be less stressed and angry. You cannot
change others only yourself |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Strengthening an Essay with Examples Red =
Topic Sentence
As an inexperienced
hiker, I often get in trouble because I am more concerned about minor
dangers, such as a rare, harmless snake. I pay less attention to
serious dangers like dehydration and exposure to extreme cold. For
example, I once hiked into the Grand Canyon with one granola bar and a
very small bottle of water. Therefore, I became severely dehydrated and was
too weak to climb back up without help from a passing tourist group, making
the return to the top on mules. I was lucky. Topic Sentences: Blue
Examples: Bold The Hazards of Going-to-movies
I am a movie fanatic. My friends count on me to know movie trivia (who was
the pigtailed little girl in E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial? Drew
Barrymore) and to remember every big Oscar awarded since I was in grade
school (best picture 1994? Forrest Gump). My friends, though, have stopped
asking me if I want to go out to the movies. While I love movies as much as
ever, the inconvenience of going out, the temptations of the theater, and the
behavior of some patrons are reasons for me to wait and rent the video. To begin
with, I just don't enjoy the general hassle of the evening.
Since small local movie theaters are a thing of the past, I have to drive for
fifteen minutes to get to the nearest multiplex. In Addition, the
parking lot is shared with several restaurants and a supermarket, so it's
always jammed. I have to drive around at a snail's pace until I spot another
driver backing out. Then it's time to stand in an endless line, with the
constant threat that tickets for the show I want will sell out. If we do get
tickets, the theater will be so crowded that I won't be able to sit with my
friends, or we'll have to sit in a front row gaping up at a giant screen. Lastly, I
have to shell out a ridiculous amount of money-up to $8-for a ticket. That
entitles me to sit while my shoes seal themselves to a sticky floor coated
with spilled soda, bubble gum, and crushed Raisinets
Second, the theater offers tempting snacks that I really don't need. Like
most of us, I have to battle an expanding waistline. At home I do pretty well
by simply not buying stuff that is bad for me. I can make do with snacks like
celery and carrot sticks because there is no ice cream in the freezer. However, going
to the theater is like spending my evening in a Seven-Eleven that's been
equipped with a movie screen and comfortable seats. As I try to persuade
myself to just have a diet Coke, the smell of fresh popcorn dripping with
butter soon overcomes me. Chocolate bars the size of small automobiles seem
to jump into my hands. I risk pulling out my fillings as I chew enormous
mouthfuls of Milk Duds. Consequently, by the time I leave the
theater, I feel disgusted with myself. Many of
the other patrons are even more of a problem than the concession stand. For
example, title kids race up and down the aisles, usually in giggling packs.
Teenagers try to impress their friends by talking back to the screen, whistling, and making what they consider to be
hilarious noises. Adults act as if
they were at home in their own living room. They comment loudly on the ages of the stars and reveal plot twists that
are supposed to be a secret until the film's end. And people of all
ages create distractions. For
instance, They
crinkle candy wrappers, stick gum on
their seats, and drop popcorn tubs or cups of crushed ice and soda on the
floor. In addition, they also cough and burp, squirm endlessly in their seats, file out for repeated trips to the rest rooms or concession
stands, and elbow me out of the armrest on either side of my seat. In
conclusion, after arriving home from
the movies one night, I decided that I was not going to be a moviegoer anymore. I was tired
of the problems involved in getting to the
theater, resisting unhealthy snacks, and dealing with the patrons. The next day, I arranged to have
premium movie channels installed as
part of my cable TV service, and I also got a membership at my local video store. I
may now see movies a bit later than other people, but I'll be more relaxed watching box office hits in the comfort of my own living
room. Langdan, College
Writings with Readings |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
